Full-on Full English

fullenglish_1438972c

Rule #1: Eat a good breakfast.

But one like this? This is known as a ‘Coronary Special’ or a ‘Gut-Bust’. Real name: Full-English Breakfast. And according to an article I read recently, you can have this on a nutritionally biased, weight-reduction diet.

Yet surely a diet is about denial, parsimony and an eternally rumbling tummy that echoes through a packed commuter train, causing terrified fellow passengers to look out for the rock avalanche preceding the Thames flooding the tube line. Meanwhile, you’re convinced said empty stomach will start digesting itself, or collapse into itself causing a black hole vortex doomed to suck everything into it, swallowing worlds whole and making you realise that giving in and eating that cake really would have been the right thing to do.

The Full-English is on offer (together with healthier options) every day in my work ‘dining room’. And I avoid it. Being ‘good’, see (and simultaneously dooming thousands of lives). Sometimes, I have beans on toast. Sometimes I have a pot of baked beans with black pudding – but not more than once a fortnight. Mostly I have some sourdough toast with healthy spread and Marmite.

But then this article happened:

Why The British Fry-Up is the Healthiest Breakfast of All.

They have a point in terms of the nutritional breakdown, protein helping to stave off hunger, Iron, vitamins blah blah. However, not utterly blind to A) the realities of consuming a proper Full English and B) The Daily Mail’s intellectual reputation, I made this happen:

full english cals

That 888 may as well be 666. The fat content is astronomical, as is the sheer volume of the food. The average human stomach is the size of a closed human fist yet, faced with a plate of this magnitude, is mercifully pliable.

I’m not saying that I’ll never eat a full-English again. What I am saying is the breakfast can be tailored to your goals. Limit the fatty meats to a once a month treat, get protein from poached eggs, or eggs ‘fried’ in a high quality non-stick pan with a light tissue-smear of oil (introducing ‘Flippy-Eggs’ to the planet (TM pending)) and a smaller portion of beans. Cook the mushrooms in a dry, non-greased pan (put a lid on the pan and they’ll cook in their own juices, leave them long enough and they’ll brown), grill the tomatoes and don’t have the butter on the toast.

Footnote: And please, for all that is good and holy, use good quality ingredients – you’ll enjoy  the food more and feel more satisfied.

 

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